Yet Again – A New Life

As I’ve mentioned before, I am now living in Vienna and going to school here. This has been an unexpected desicion and I’m surprised at how well it has worked out. There’s only a few weeks left before summer break and I can harldy believe that I’ve been studying here for a semester already, even though that’s relatively short in view of all the semesters that are to come. Anyway, as you can imagine, my life now is nothing like my life in America… Good thing? Bad thing? I’d say, awesome thing!!

Of course I do miss America sometimes, but all in all I don’t wanna be anywhere else at the moment. To sum up what happened in the last few months: I really didn’t meet a lot of people at school, but the few friends I made there are awesome. They’re all very different but I have so much fun with them and I’m thrilled to know them! Real personalities, you see. Really smart and special in their very own way. I doubt they’d get along with each other though, but frankly, that’s not my business;)
But… I moved to a student dormitory - initially just a transistional solution -  and it turned out th best thing tha cul have happened to me! When I first got there I was shocked, my first impression was How am I gonna stay at a place like this?!  The community kitchen was filthy and simply gross, the room – single occupancy – tiny and everything seemed just seemed so run-down. The plus – great area, just a five minute walk to school and public transports right in front of the door. It took me a while to get used to the rest though. At the beginning I spent most of the time hiding out in my room, but slowly I began to talk to people on my floor and finally got invited to a party at the clubroom at the ground floor of my building (all togther there are 5 buildings, 700 rooms… huge!) I had such a great time there and started going there more often. Drinks are incredibly cheap there and you always meet new people there. Everyone’s friendly and welcoming, so that’s how I made quite some friends here! What I love most about living here is that there are hardly any Austrians so I meet all kind of people from all over the world and learn a lot about different culutures. For a month I met someone new every single day and soon it became clear that I wasn’t gonna move anywhere else. It is still filthy and sometimes I can’t even get myself to cook something in that kitchen, there’ve been a range of issues with bugs (no kidding), but there are certain things you can get used to. There are just too many adventages to let the low standard bother me.

In other words – I love living here. I barely go home any longer because I just enjoy my life here so much. I feel so free, I can do whatever I want and don’t have to ask for permission to do certain things, I can finally stay out as long as I want, clean my room whenever I want, do laundry whenever I want and be who I want to be!

Also, the mutlicultural aspect of this dormitory opened my mind so much and everything I’ve learned so far freed my spirits! There are certain things that I grew so fond of – the (almost daily) coffee rituals with friends that also live here. I love inviting someone over, offering some coffee and cake, and having philosophical conversations that include dream interpreting or mutual motivation. As for motivation, there’s almost nothing I can’t motivate myself to do. My friend and I established a certain expression and move that goes with it, and whenever we perform it we don’t have a choice but to be motivated for whatever we need to do. You wouldn’t believe the effect of that ridiculous move and I crack up every time I perform it! It’s kinda hard to describe and it wouldn’t make much sense to translate the words as such either, but it is incredible how they manipulate you! Over the past weeks my way of thinking changed signifficantly and there’s a lot of new stuff that is keeping my brain busy. Once again I feel like I’m finding myself and I came to the conclusion that we find ourselves many times in life, we bare so many secrets that are yet to be discovered! Right now I’m becoming aware of so many things and it all just seems to make sense! I can think about a single matter for hours and analize it right down to the last detail. I wish I could express how fullfilling that is! I hardly have any worries at the moment because I know everything will straighten itself out somehow, I just keep in mind my current motto: Don’t worry - be hippie;)

Well, and then there’s school. A few months ago I couldn’t even picture myself going to college, but now I couldn’t imagine doing anything else! There are so many classes that just set me thinking and again I experience that phenomenon of everything making sense! I do struggle with Spanish classes, but on the other hand I see myself improving and I’m so eager for knowlegde, as part of that new mentality that I’m currently developing. It seems so ridiculous now that for years I was always worrying about what to study and convinced I would never make the right joice but get sick of it soon. I was so scared of that desicion and now I wanna study so much more! That’s why beside the Transculutral Communication studies I’m also gonna start Media Science and International Deveopment starting October. That should keep me busy for a while… Still it is clear to me that it is what I want, all that new knowledge is making me so happy and I feel so enriched!

I even gave up on straightening my hair and am slowly growing fond of my natural hair. When I fist moved to Vienna nobody knew the truth about my straight hair and everyone was enthusiastic about my curls. I still kept on straightening it but now I’m just too lazy, especially in the summer it doesn’t make much sense!

In other words, everything is great, I feel comfortable and I have many plans. I’m living the hippie way of life while keeping focused on school, I feel appreciated by the people around me and I have to admit I feel somewhat special. Not in an arrogant way, but as always I observe myself thoroughly and I’m proud of myself, everything I do seems reasonable to me and that’s what counts. I’m just gonna be honest and say I don’t give a damn about what people think of me, I just do my thing and I it’s the only right way to live. I try to be as open-minded and reasonable as possible and I think I’m doing a good job on that, I think I adopted some kind of live and let-live attitude and every time I catch myself judging someone on certain statements or appearence I erase it immediatly and sometimes even walk up to those people and start talking to them in order to get to know them a little bit and redefine my first impression. I’m still trying to get my social surroundings to think like that too;) Unfortunately I’m coming across a lot of inacceptance and especially rasism, but I’m not gonna get into that right now. The more reason for me to be as fair-minded and unbiased as possible!

I’ll post a few pictures so you get an idea of what I’m up to in my freetime. Keep in mind that I’m actually a very focused and hard-working student, but everyone needs to just have fun sometimes;)

Fantastic breakfast in a back courtyard in Vienna

My new hat, very stylish!

My new ride…

Chilling at Votivpark

Typical student party, with a swing in the doorway

Another Tribute To New York

“No matter where you are in the world, you never really leave New York and it never really leaves you”

Unfortunately I have to admit that I’m not quite sure who I am quoting here, but this sentence relfects what’s going on inside of me. I read it on the back of a children’s book called “New York State Of Mind”, which is the picture book version of Billy Joel’s song of the same name. That’s why I tend to think it is him I’m quoting everytime I use that sentence, but frankly, I don’t know and he might just have been as touched by it as I was.

Anyhow, this sentence has been coming to mind very often lately. My first semester at college is almost over and I can hardly believe it. So much has been going on in the past few months and I really don’t know where to start, there are more thoughts than ever running through my head right now and they all need to come out…  I wanna write about my life, about school and living in Vienna, about new friends I’ve made and about my plans. Trust me, I could tell you about lots of things, but the reason why I sat down and started writing was this sentence that’s continuously been across me.

A few weeks after I got back from America I started going through all of my pictures with the aim of creating an album so I can recall all those great memories whenever I open it. Looking at all those pictures again was not an easy task but at the same time I felt this inner contentedness that made me appreciate every second I spent in the US! I started some kind of ritual, setting up all my utensils, thoroughly thinking about the different pages and with the most affectionate precision I created page after page until I ran out of pictures. I tryed to order them online but unfortunatly it didn’t quite work out. So I took a break from editing my album and soon I was preoccupied with other things like preparing for school. However, I am planing on resuming that activity in the summer. Revicing all those incredible moments makes me so happy and it really is a way of concluding or (rather) rounding the whole experience off.

As I’m meeting people and making new friends all the time it is more or less inevitable that I talk a lot about the time I spent in the US. There’s always a sad aspect to it, but mainly I’m proud to be able to tell people about the way I experienced the American culture. Unfortunately I also come across a lot of cliches, but I try to clear those things up immediatly (more thoughts about that to come…)
Then there’s always this one question that evokes ambigous feelings inside of me: How was it??
There’s no answer to that question. I’m just gonna leave it at that.

Some crazy incident occured. My sister had a huge trip to America scheduled, 2 weeks, 4 cities – in other words, somehing to be jealous of. I’m not gonna get into details, but to make a long story short some – because of some weird coincidence there was a chance that I could come with her, or I should better say there were reasons to hope. I’m being a little cryptical here but all I want to say is that New York was already within my grasp and I could almost see myself revisiting all those great places that I’m missing so much… Even though it didn’t work out, I know the day will come when I get off an airplane at JFK and pick up where I left off!

A couple of weeks ago I had to prepare a presentation for one of my English classes whereas we could choose our own topics. Somehow I completely forgot about my presentation until a day before due-day. After a lot of back and forth I decided to talk about New York City, knowing that I might end up going crazy out of yearning and desire…  Yet again I started going through the tremendous amount of pictures on my computer and picked out some of my absolute favourites. The problem was structuring the whole thing for I could talk about New York all day long while I had to compress all that knowledge into ten minutes’ worth… I can’t even tell you how hard it was for me to pick out the things I like most about New York, moreover I’m sort of peculiar when it comes to presentations… I try to make the contents as accessible as possible for everyone, I like conveying some ideas or approaches rather than detailed information and boring facts. My emotions were rumbling and I felt everything from melancholy to kookiness to happiness and so on and so on…
After a long day full of racking my brain I was pretty satisfied with the contents and the outcome in general, although I would have loved to pick up some more aspects of the wonderful city of New York. I was looking forward to presenting the result. Finally I got up there, a little awed at first by the big lecture hall and all the faces staring at me in expectation but soon forgetting about everything around me. Every once in a while I looked down at my notes just to make sure I’m not leaving a single thing out, eager to tell them as much as possible without overcharging them, but basically I just let my hair down and talked out of excitement. I was even a little disappointed in the end because there was so much left to say.

I finally gave my room a little personal touch by hanging up some pictures of New York, Nick and Abby, and myself. I enjoy looking up from my computer screen and immediatly calling up some memories of that fabulous time. I also got to the conclusion that that time is not over. Maybe interrupted (I don’t like the negative resonance of that word).
Or simply,
to be continued.

Who Would Have Thought …?!

Not me – that’s for sure. 

Allthough there are many ways to continue that sentence… Where should I begin?

Who would have thought that this is the first time in weeks that I was mentally ready to click on that link – “chocolena” ?!
Who would have thought that, even though I haven’t been writing in what seems like years to me, I still get so many visits on my blog?!

But those are minor questions…
Just to get this straight right away - I am no longer strolling down a beach in California, nor am I living in the US any longer. My intentions was to finish writing about my wonderful trip before dropping the bombshell, but it was simply impossible, too painful one might say. Instead of clearing things up I developed a certain repulsion against writing and against this blog in general. But I think it’s time to decide what’s going to happen to chocolena, but first I want to explain more or less what happened.

I’m gonna start with the events of December 31st, a little after where I stopped… I had a new post which was almost done prepared, but I never bring myself to click on “publish”, but to make a long story short: I enjoyed the rest of my time in Los Angeles and I almost dare say that it has been my best vacation ever (… Who would have thought that I’d have the time of my life taking the step of going there all by myself?!)
Anyway, I returned to Boston December 31st, 6 am. Obviously, I was freezing, and what’s more, I didn’t have a ride home from the airport. None of my friends were able to pick me up, so I took the T in order to get as close to Nahant as possible, which would be Wonderland station. There I decided to wait for a bus, but to my despair it started snowing right when I stepped outside. On top of that it was extremely windy and I was about to give up once I couldn’t feel my toes anymore, when finally the bus came in sight. It only took me to Lynn though, and from there I had no choice but to take a cab. After all it took me 5 hours to get home, which is a 20 minute ride by car… Can you spell IRRITATING?!
But enough with that… The rest of the day wasn’t less dissappointing – even worse… It kept on snowing and snowing and snowing, all night long, and there was no way for me to go anywhere, I wouldn’t even have made it down our driveway, especially as the only car there was the BMW, and me driving that “rather expensive” car wasn’t appreciated anyway, except if it couldn’t be avoided. With the snow storming outside and the roads not cleared there was no way I could invite anyone – and that’s how I passed New Years Eve in a 26 room mansion all by myself, far away in dreamland by midnight…. It’s not worth mentioning that I had different expectations.
The following days weren’t any better. I had to pick up Matthew, who came back earlier from their family vacation. Officially I was in charge of him, but there’s not much I can do for a 15 year old who’s not exactly fond of me lurking around the house… Still, it meant I couldn’t come and go as I pleased, I always felt like I had to be there in case he needed anything and spent three super boring days alone in my room, alarminly close to losing my mind. When the rest of the family returned on Sunday I learned that my day off that week would be Monday (I had expected that…), to my great desperation, for another day by myself was more than I could take…
When I discovered the following day that one of the boys took “my” car, in other words, that I was stuck on that freakin island for another day, I knew I had to make a drastic change, because after a week full of tears this constant lonleyness  and unhappyness seemed impossible to take any longer.

That night I made a decision. I had no idea how to tell my host parents, but it became clear that going home was the only right thing for me to do. I guess they kind of sensed it – at least it didn’t come as a great surprise when I finally – out of pure desperation - screwed up my courage and told them I wanted to return to my home country, be with my family and friends again. To claim they weren’t disappointed would be a lie, I think they felt kind of betrayed after I broke my commitment – but what it all boils down to is that there’s nothing they could do about it, they had to accept my decision and find someone new. 5 days later I boarded an airplane back to Austria.

Now, I don’t want anyone to think that I just gave up because I’d had a bad week, there were a lot of thoughts that led to that drastic step. I’d been unhappy so many times before, but quitting has never been an option for me, there was always something I held on to, something that kept me going. I struggeled a lot during my time in the US and I faced plenty of problems that I somehow overcame, but I got to that point where I had to ask myself the question – “Do I really wanna struggle anylonger? Does it make sense at all?”
And the clear answer was No. Of course, I loved the American way of life and there are many placed I would have loved to visit before my returning to Austria –  but frankly, one or two weekend vacations can’t make up for 5 months full of tears und unhappyness! In addition, I could easily be replaced there, that family had a new au pair within twelve hours. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for them, but to them it simply doesn’t matter who lives in their house and drives their kids around, they don’t care how bad that person’s driving and how many accident she’s had, it’s not a matter of comeptence but of willingness to do what’s expected from her. And I’m more than that. I can adjust to all differnet kinds of situations and I don’t mind being by myself, I actually quite like it, but once you feel like you’re not being appreciated for who you are, for the things that make out your personality, and once you feel just stupid because you’re so unchallenged and nothing you do makes sense – then it’s time for a drastic change.

It was time for me to set a greater goal than finishing the housework on time, to start living my own life and not feeling owned anymore – what it came down to was that the bads overweighed the goods, with no expectations of improvement of the situation. I “worked” 6 days a week, allthough it’d be more accurate to say I spent 6 days a week doing useless things, and my day off was a waste because on an island there’s nothing you can do without a car on a weekday, nobody’s gonna be able to pick you up and with temperatures at 20 degrees it’s way too cold to go for a walk and enjoy the beauty of Nahant – been there, done that…

Another aspect that motivated my decision was the freedom, the inner happyness I felt while on vacation. And it was less because of the vacation itself but more that being among people my age again and getting to know all those great people, all that made me want to start building up new relationships that could last more than 5… 4… 3… and so on more months, depending on how long you’re gonna stay where you are at the moment. But there’s more to that…Being among people my age for more than just a few hours showed me something scary: how distant I had gotten… I became aware of how I was among people and still by myself somehow without fully realizing it. I’d be lost in thoughts while I should be chatting with people, or just watch instead of being a part, as if I lived in a different world from which I can only observe. I don’t know how to explain, I just wasn’t very happy when I discovered all that, especially because I used to be such a social person and I know now that it wasn’t even healthy. Thinking back to my vacation, not only in Palm Beach but also in LA it hit me like a thousand bricks that it was time for me to be part of the real world again, with real people and not with characters that, for a normal person, are as close to real when they’re behind the TV screen – even though that might be a little exaggerated…

Well, it’s been two months since my return, and all I can say is that I’m happy, by and large. Despite various other plans I had I decided to study Transcultural Communication English Spanish and I just got through my first week - it went just fine, I passed the required language examinations, which were pretty though and I can’t deny that I’m somewhat proud.
Still, it would be a lie to say everything’s okay. I have a lot of doubts about everything I do, every step I take. I can’t last more than a few hours among people, unless they’re close friends, without starting to feel a little restless or sometimes annoyed. I often prefer staying home with a book instead of going out to meet people. It took me 3 days before I started talking to people at school – I used to establish contacts within a few minutes in a room of people my age, and now I feel like I’m failing socially. Or maybe I’m just imagining all this or trying to find an excuse for being shy, but I can’t recall that socializing has ever been a problem for me, and even though I’m not unhappy and enjoy the few hours every day that I am by myself, it still makes me wonder…

Well…
Who would have thought my America experience would end that abruptly?!
Who would have thought that I’ll change all my plans and start something that has never been open to debate?!
Who would have thought I’d ever be worrying about my social skills?!
Who would have thought it’d be that important to me to justify my decision and make sure everyone understands the motivations behind it?!

There’s so much more that I never thought would ever happen. Life has once more proven to be unpredictable and full of surprises. All you can do is to take what you get and deal with it, and that’s just how it’s supposed to be. The way thing’s turned out was the right way – must have been. I really can’t complain and I’m glad about the new challenge in my life and curious how I’m gonna manage and what life’s got to offer me next!

Real Vacation-Relaxation

On my third day in Los Angeles I catched up on some sleep, I just stayed in bed until like noon and decided to take it easy that day. It was nice and sunny out again (what else…) and the temperature was comfortable.
Jessin took me to Venice Beach which is right by Santa Monica, and Sunday afternoon is actually the perfect time to go there. It’s the craziest spot, you’ll find the weirdest stores there and the most unusual things. There’s street entertainers all over the place, the old man on his roller skates playing the e-guitar being the most starteling one. Another crazy dude was walking and jumping on a pile of broken glass… It’s a completely different setting and the people there are not quite like the ones you’d see in Santa Monica. You can immediately tell that the area isn’t that nice, and it reminded me a bit of Coney Island – I wouldn’t wanna walk there by myself, it’s a little scary…
We walked out on the beach – need to feel some sand on your bare feet when you’re in LA =) It was pretty windy though and I had left my coat in the car, so we just walked there for a little while.

I absolutely love that picture… And it wasn’t even posed (well that’s probably why…) It’s kind of symbolic to me

LOVE the sunshine!

Jessin and I out on the beach of Venice Beach

After that little stroll I had enough of Venice Beach and we went back into Santa Monica to sit in the sun and relax for a little bit at the park along Ocean Avenue. The sun felt so good, I almost fell asleep on a bench there, my thoughts carried me away, almost all the way into dreamland =) The temperature was just perfect and all I was thinking I never want this moment to ever end… The view was so amazing, it was such a clear day and there was not a single cloud in sight – I enjoyed that so much considering that I’d been freezing up on the east coast just a few days before… After approximately an hour of just sitting in silence and relaxing we went to that awesome ice cream place, they have a great variety of flavours and an even greater one of toppings which they mix right in fort you! You can choose your flavour (I chose dark chocolate + peppermint = delicious) and had them mix in some Twix *yum* The ice cream was so creamy and chocolatey, I loved it!
Now that I was on my sugar high we had to leave for the airport, Jessin had to pick up is former host family from Massachustes which was convenient because I could call the hotel shuttle to pick me up there.

Beautiful view out on Santa Monica Beach and the ocean!

When I got back to the hotel I went to get something at the free dinner buffet. They only offer you a choice of sides, each of them was delicious though and so I simply filled my plate with rice, french fries and two other kinds.. To call it a “dinner” buffet is a little exaggerated but I was completely content with it because it was really tasty. They also had cake as dessert, and even though it was a little dry it was still a complimentary dessert that I wouldn’t miss out on. At dinner I met Katey and our new roommate Viviana, who works as an au pair in San Francisco. They were accompanied by Amanda from Australia who was just stopping in LA for a day before heading to Las Vegas and then Mexico for some kind of exchange program. We had a nice chat and went to the pool together after dinner. Katey and I were the only ones to go in the pool, but the other girls sat right on the side and we had a long and fun conversation, each of us coming from a different continent and lifestyle and once again I thought about how interesting traveling and meeting people is. I enjoyed hearing their storied and had quite a laugh. The warm water of the pool was so relaxing and I felt very comfortable.

Amanda (the steam comes from the hot water in the pool)

Katey and I enjoying the warmth of the water

You see that I really took it easy with the program that day, I relaxed a lot and had time to think. It was another very nice day of my vacation and a really typical one too – no worries, sit in the sun, eat ice cream, enjoy the pool.. The word that comes to my mind is VACATION. I fell asleep camly with soft thoughts. Don’t ask what exactly I mean by that.. I sort of felt like I was in a cloud that kept any harmfull thoughts from me and made sure I relaxed. Succesfully!

Heaven On Earth – Out In Santa Monica

On Saturday I got up pretty early again and went to have breakfast together with Katey. My plan for the day was is to take a bus to Santa Monica and I asked her if she wanted to join me. She decided to come with me so we called the shuttle and had it drop us of at the transit center. We got on a bus, it said “Santa Monica” on it, so we thought we should be fine. I was hoping it would bring us where we wanted to go, the areas we were riding through were not exactly appealing… But after a while we got to what had to be Downtown Santa Monica – little shops everywhere, everything clean and nice and beautiful =) We hopped off the bus and started walking and hit the 3rd Street Promenade which is practically like a shopping mall, with the stores all lined up, one after the other. There’s movie theaters and a food court, little restaurants and cafes, street entertainers and no cars. Smoking is not allowed in that area and people who make sure trash goes where it belongs, so it’s exceptionally clean!
It was love at first sight… I loved how the trees were lined up along the promenade, almost like an alley, they had all the great stores there and the gorgeous weather made it the perfect day! We were walking up and down the street, checking out the stores and trying to spot some celebrities – without luck… But on such a beatiful day that wasn’t too much of a disappointment!

The 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica

Dinousaur shaped fountain =)

After we had looked at walked along the promenade we decided to walk out to the Santa Monica Pier -  after all we were in California, making it essential to go check out the beach. There’s a beautiful park before you can walk across a bridge over the major road along the ocean. Again, everything’s super clean and absolutely stunning!
Out on the pier you have a beautiful view over the ocean and the coast line. There’s an arcade, a few rides and people selling all kinds of typical vacation stuff – a typical tourist’s spot. The aquarium is out there as well.

Out on the Pier

By the time we headed back to 3rd street I was starving… I had seen a little cafe before that I really wanted to go to, they had crepes on their menu and I was craving something sweet =) It was a tough choice, as everything sounded delicious, but I ordered a dark chocolate and banana crepe, with chocolate ice cream =) I wonder if anybody besides me ever orders that… I got the full dose… Unforgetable, heavenly divine =) Katey had a chocolate croissant which looked scrumptious as well!

My lunch… Almost as beautiful as Santa Monica =)

Yes, I am happy… It’s unbelievable how excited I get about food… Although, that was more than just food!

After my belly was filled we did some shopping, I found all my favourite stores along the promenade and got myself a nice christmas present. Maybe it was because that whole day was so wonderful or the chocolate infusion made me careless – either way, I spoiled myself and got some cool stuff that I’m really happy with! Everything I got was half prize which made my day a whole lot better, if that is even possible…
Both of us were satisfied and delighted after such a fabulous day. Santa Monica really surprised me, it was filled with this fancy ambience and everything seemed brighter there, for some reason… Or maybe it was just because it was such a sunny day *haha*

We got back on the bus a little before sunset, tired from the excitements of the day, when suddenly my phone rang. It was Jessin, I guy from Sweden who had been an au pair here in Mass when I was in New York. He also extended for an extra 9 months and moved to Santa Monica just one week after I arrived in Nahant. My friend Hanna knew him and gave me his email adress so he could maybe show me around Boston but there was just too much going on with me just arriving and him leaving, so we never got a chance to meet up, but wrote emails every once in a while. I had told him I was going to be in LA and that he should call if he’s around and not too busy, but I wasn’t really expecting him too. When he offered to show me around a little there was no doubt I’d miss out on that, it’s so much better if you have someone to show you places you might not find at your first visit. Plus, LA is one of those many American cities where a car is a necessity.
So I went back to downtown Santa Monica but we didn’t stay there for long. Both of us were hungry so Jessin suggested we go to “The Grove”, kind of like a shopping mall, but mainly stores of the expensive kind. Their Christmas decoration was suppoed to be beautiful, they even have a “snow” show. Fake snow, naturally… Part of the Grove is the Farmer’s Market where you can get all kinds of food – and get lost… It’s outside though and, now that the sun was gone, it was freezing cold again.. I decided to get some pasta and we sat down to eat right  beneath a heater so I wouldn’t be cold. I can’t really explain what happened that moment, but I was just unbelievably happy. I enjoyed my food so much that it made me smile and I heard myself talking and it made me smile even more. It was another one of those moments that made me realize how much I miss being among people my age and talk about real stuff and not just fake conversation to fill the silence. It was such a perfect day I could have cried… And there was more to come!

My flash didn’t go off that’s why it’s so blury… But that way you can see the lights better.

Lollllyyyy at the Grove =)

The Department of Water Power has set up a “Light Festival” in Griffith Park in Los Angeles, that’s right in the hills close to the observatory and the Hollywood Sign. The way it works is you just drive through the park and look at the lights – easy, right? And a fun thing to do when it’s cold out and you can turn the heat and the music on in the car – and have good conversation. There was a long wait, alltogether it took us maybe two hours.. But we were talking so much that it felt like much less and it didn’t bother us. I made myself comfortable in the car, putting my seet back and watching the night and talk, talk, talk… Boy, I have a lot to say, I discovered… =)
The light festival was fun, too. Christmas music was coming through the speakers on trees and I was laughing a lot the whole way. It was different, I guess that’s why I had such a great time.

My personal favourite: The “Tunnel of Light” *haha*

The observatory

I didn’t take too many pictures there, just so you get an idea. It was a deLIGHTful way to end a delightful day and I was entirely happy. I haven’t felt that way in a long time and once again I thought what a great idea it was to go on vacation in LA. It turned out to be such an incredibly time and I couldn’t have wished for anything more. As we were driving on the highway right through downtown Los Angeles, the music turned up pretty loud and all the lights around us I couldn’t help but smile. A smile that I couldn’t wipe off my face for quite a while and I only thought I don’t want this feeling to ever end.
There was absolutely nothing missing that day, it couldn’t have been any better, and neither could my mood have been. Seeing my self that happy was a surprise, which in turn made me think how sad that actually is. But there was just no room for sadness so I kept on being joyful. There should be more days like that in life, days at places that seem like Heaven on Earth… Or make you feel that way…

Lena Goes Hollywood

As mentioned, my first day in LA began with a  freezing cold room and a red nose, not what I’d expected. Still, I was really excited for my first day in that big city and couldn’t wait to go out and explore. I took a hot shower and put on some of the warmer clothes I brought with me went to have the complimentary breakfast, containing a blueberry muffin and coffee, which was just right for me. I had my coffee refilled for the at least 5th times when I joined a group of Canadians that I had already met the previous night at their table. They were going to stay at a different hotel that night, somewhere closer to Hollywood, and as I couldn’t wait to go see Hollywood myself we made plans to head out together.
While they were packing up their stuff (they even went for a swim shortly before we left, entertaining everyone around the pool by doing wild jumps and flips) I sat outside in the sun and warmed myself up. I was relieved that it wasn’t as freezing during the day and it felt like heaven letting the sun shine down on me.

More like the weather I was hoping for!

 The hotel’s shuttle bus dropped us off at the bus transit center where we had to take the bus to get to the the train station and switch trains twice – it took us fairly long…  As they wanted to check in at their hotel I said good bye and got out at a random station and started walking. I wanted to see ”Walk Of Fame” and downtown Holywood in general, I wasn’t quite sure if I was headed into the right direction but remained optimistic, as was strolling along Hollywood Boulevard and after a while spotted the famous Hollywood sign =) The whole environment down south is so different from here at the east coast and I enjoyed it so much, the sight of all those palm trees gave me incredible pleasure. I was really happy I chose to go on that vacation and I was in a great mood. I stopped to eat at a little diner and after a while I saw the first stars on the ground – I had reached the Walk Of Fame. I was fascinated by the fact that I was walking around that famous place, it felt kind of like the first few times I went to New York. Moments like that are the highlights of my US experience and I’m proud to now be able to say “I’ve been there” whenever there’s something about Hollywood on TV =) I did some shopping and took everything in, amazed by the atmosphere. Well, here’s some pictures.

The guys from Quebec, at the train station. They had such a crazy style =)

Unfortunately really tiny… The Hollywood sign

Right where it’s at =)

The light was tough for taking pictures…

One of my personal stars =)

Walking down the Walk Of Fame

I knocked myself out there… I had the best time! I decided to get back on the train, it would take me a while to get home and the sun was already setting, I didn’t have a coat and prepared myself, as it was gonna get cold pretty soon… Fortunately I didn’t have to wait long for neither one of the trains nor the bus, but it took an hour for the shuttle bus to pick me up and my feet felt like ice cubes… When I got back to my room I had a roommate =) The first night I’d had the 8 bed room to myself, but now there was a girl from Pennsylvania whose flight to a ski resort in California was cancelled so she was stuck in LA for 5 days. I told her about how much fun I’d had the previous night and headed down to the pool to see if there were people around again. Shortly after Katey, the girl from my room, showed up and we sat there for a while, talking, until a guy joined us and gave me a good laugh: He lives in Long Beach, which is part of LA, and took a week vacation at the Adventurer (the hotel) because he loves it so much… We talked for several hours, ignoring the cold and had a really fun time! It struck me once again how interesting it is to meet people while traveling… Everyone’s from a different place, living a different life. You meet those people once and probably won’t ever see them again, you might even forget they exist… I just think it’s fascinating, somehow…
That night, we turned the heat on in our room and I didn’t have to freeze. I was dressed a little warmer and fell right asleep after that long and exciting day, full of new experiences and people. I can’t believe I had been worried about being lonely on my vacation, about going by myself… That’s the best way to meet people, and it certainly worked out for me.

Hollywood was definitely an experience. That first day in Los Angeles was fabulous, I saw a great part of the city and felt proud of it, for it was one of the places in this world I didn’t wanna miss visiting. Who would have ever thought that I’d be walking through Hollywood one day, feeling free and independent and enjoying myself so much that it’s impossible to explain… It was one of those days where I felt invincible, on top of the world, simply unforgetable!

Unusual Christmas

My return flight from Palm Beach to Boston went good. The lady sitting next to me seemed to be desperatly hoping for a conversation so we exchanged some words, I watched a movie that came out recently (I love JetBlue *haha*) and did some more drawing. Back in Boston I took my time getting to the Wonderland T station, where my dear Anna picked me up. I had promised her to cook something back at my house, but what I haven’t thought of was that all the stores were closed at that time on Christmas Eve. That’s why we had to go food shopping at a gas station… Merry Christmas *haha* But it was fine. As always, it felt good to come home, even though I panicked a little bit at all the work I head in front of me before leaving for LA the next morning, there was lots of laundry unfinished as well as dirty dishes and unmade beds. And I had to pack for part two of my vacation… Anyways, I made some carbonara and happily ate that unusual christmas dinner before dropping in front of the TV to watch some Disney Channel =) I managed to get the housework done in passing and when Anna left (pretty late) I packed my suitcase for LA, happy to dig out all my favourite summer clothes again. I went to bed late and got up early in the mo(u)rning to take a shower, wash my hair, eat some breakfast and get out of the house, again. I called a cab to drop me at the Wonderland station from where I took the T to the airport. I was there super early again (I just didn’t know how long it was gonna take me to get there) and got immediatly annoyed when I learned that American Airlanes cahrges you 15 dollars for checking your first bag. I mean it’s just ridiculous how they’re ripping money out of your hands for everything… But there’s nothing you can do about it so I had to deal with it… I was surprised that I didn’t even have to wait in line at the security checkpoint, the airport was pretty much EMPTY at that sunny Christmas morning. Once again it struck me that it was christmas, and since I had plenty of time before my flight  and unlimited texting I sent out some annoying “Merry Christmas” text messages. I was really tired as I waited a couple of hours for my flight to Dallas, Texas. I didn’t realize how long it’d take me to get to LA that way, the first flight itself was already 3 and a half hours, plus another 3 hours from Dallas to LAX. After that long day of traveling I was more than relieved to get off the airplane but soon realized in shock that it was only 10 degrees warmer in California than in Mass, accordingly I was freezing and realized that I had brought the completely wrong clothes…

The hotel I had booked a shared room for sounded very promising. They had a free shuttle to and from the airport as well as the bus transit center from where you can get around by public transportation which, by the way, is ridiculously cheap in Los Angeles and surprisingly clean, you have to figure long waits though. They gave you free breakfast, free coffee all day, free cookies in the afternoon and even offered a free dinner buffet. Plus, you got a voucher for a free glass of champagne every night of your stay. The neighborhood was not exactly safe, but the hotel grounds were.
Once I got there I wasn’t quite sure what to think of that place, but after I brought my suitcase up to my room I went back downstairs to an area where you could sit, play pool or videogames, use the computers or swim in the heated pool =) I started talking to Huberto, a guy from Brazil who temporarily lived in the hotel until he found an apartment, he will be studying in LA. I found it amazing how friendly people were, whenever someone walked by they’d start talking to you, and soon there were a bunch of people sitting with us, we drank a few beers and some of them went swimming. It was a mix of all kinds of nationalities and everyone was having a great time. I was really tired though and left after a while, I didn’t get much sleep though because I was so cold. I woke up early and my nose was all red, it really upset me because I thought I would escape the cold of a Boston winter… But never have I been so cold in Boston – probably because I don’t sleep in shorts up there… A mistake I wouldn’t make again!

People from Chicago, Canada and Brazil (and Austria…) We had a lot of fun

There were only a few moments those two days when I remembered it was Christmas. I’m glad I booked my vacations that way, they fullfilled their purpose: distraction. After all, everyone wants to spend that time of the year with their loved ones, and being so far away from home that was not a possibility this year. So I kept myself busy and it worked out perfectly. My first night in Los Angeles was great, I was surprised how many people I got to know and happy that I didn’t have to be by myself! It was definitely an unusual Christmas this year, so unusual in fact that I completely forgot about it…

Trading Christmas Trees for Palm (Beach) Trees

My anger over my flight to Palm Beach, FL being cancelled faded quickly when I left fot the airport fairly early Monday morning. I didn’t have any bags to check and it didn’t take me long to get through security. For some reason, everytime I get into that safe zone behind security checkpoints, a very special feeling overcomes me. I find it so interesting being among all those people who are about to get on an airplane and go somewhere far (or not so far…) and I sometimes wish everyone had to wear a tag giving information about their destination and purpose of their trip… As always, I got there way too early and walked around the terminal. I vehemently refuse to drink Starbucks coffee, it’s disgusting and ridiculously overprized, and just as I considered to pass on my iced coffee that morning I found a Dunkin Donuts around the corner and happily got my dose of caffeine. After all, it wouldn’t be Mass if there weren’t a “Double D” whereever you turn =)
As it was to expect, the airport was sort of chaotic after the previous night’s snowstorm. Many flights were delayed and there were uncountable gate changes. The staff panicked if you asked them if you were waiting at the right gate because they’d obvioulsy lost track over the proceedings. After the second gate change there was no doubt that my flight was gonna be delayed… Not that it mattered, I had a 3 hours wait for my connection flight at JFK anyways. Due to my curiosity and excitement I don’t find it very hard to wait at airports, in fact, I kind of enjoy it… As long as I have my music, a book, and since very recently a piece of paper and a pencil with me, I’m happy. To explain the latter: To say I discovered a new talent would be exaggerated, but let’s put it this way… Drawing sort of became a pastimes for me, I draw faces and bodies and I’m getting a little better, but, more importantly, I love doing it. I would sit down close to potential “models” and inconspiciously draw the, or at least make an attempt… The results didn’t have too much in common with the “original”, but taking them as an inspiration helped me figure out the features and it was more fun that way =)
What really surprised (and irritated!) me was that I counted 4 people waiting at the gate had their pets in a backpack or some kind of bag… Those weirdos sat their, talking to their cats and dogs, feeding them their treats and letting them drink water out of tupperware containers… It just disgusted me…  But everyone knows I’m not into animals…
I flew with JetBlue, my absolute favourite of airlines. They’re so nice, plus, you get the best snacks =) They did an amazing job on the JetBlue terminal at JFK, it’s like a huge shopping mall… There’s so many restaurants and shops, I was impressed. I ate some pasta there and it was absolutely delicious, even though I was using a plastic fork to eat out of a box… Obvioulsy, JFK wasn’t less chaotic than Logan Airport, and my connection flight as well was delayed. I was perfectly content though, working on some drawings and listening to the one playlist I’m not yet sick of… I changed clothes in the bathroom to get in the Florida mood =) and just enjoyed myself while I was waiting. I just love airports… They make me thing of travel and that always lifts my mood =) And it makes me think of when I came to the US more that 15 motnhs ago..  All that excitement and fear and what not… It’s unbelievable how much you grow in the course of a year! But I got distracted… I’ll get back to that some other time!
When I was finally settled on my second flight that day I slept for a little while and wondered about how it takes just as long to get to Palm Beach from New York than from Boston, even though I flew an hour south from Boston to New York and the total flight time to Palm Beach is 3 hours from both cities…

I finally made it to Palm Beach – I came a long way… I took a cab to my friend Lukas’ apartment, happy to see a familiar face from Austria!! He, too, is on an exchange program, working at a hotel together with lots of other young people from all over the world. They all live in the same neighborhood, so there’s always something going on, a little get-together at someone’s apartment… You always have people (neighbors, friends) walking in and out of the door, which I enjoyed a lot! We ordered some pizza, I had way too much and felt super stuffed… Nevertheless we decided to go swimming, even though the pool had closed several hours ago =) There was a regular pool which was freezing cold and a jacuzzi, which was hot as a bath tub *yay* We, the tough guys, switched between the two *haha* I was pretty tired and exhausted, it had been a long day after all, and I felt like I was gonna drown from all that pizza that I ate… And what’s the best thing to do in a situation like that? Exactly. Go to sleep.
Well, I did try to get up early the next morning, but it was sheer impossible. By the time I was awake and dressed and ready to go it was almost noon. We did some grocery shopping because I insisted on having “Kaiserschmarrn”, a traditional Austrian dish (some call it dessert… for me it’s a main course…  *haha*) and we needed to get some ingredients. We ate at McDonalds (shame on me…) out of pure lazyness ad I got to have my iced coffee =)

You have no idea how good it feels to be able to dress like that just a day after a snow storm… =)

Isn’t that cute?? The little snowmen under the palm trees… I felt triumphant for escaping winter =)

In the afternoon we went to the mall, strolling around for a few hours. I was surprised at the size of the mall, they had every department store from Macy’s to Bloomingdales plus all the expensive stores I’m not used to finding in malls like Gucci, Chanel, … Anyways, my favourite of all was, obviously, Harry and David.  Among all sorts of gourtmet food they have incredibly delicious chocolate treat, I think they’re most known for their chocolate covered popcorn (irrisistable!!) and I spent a really long time, unable to decided what to get. I made a decent choice of two snack bars – I can still taste the chocolate in my mouth, melting as soon as it touches your lips…. Mixed with a little crunchy popcorn and caramel or cookies or the hell I know… All I can tell you is that it was ridiculously scrumptious and I want MORE!
Enough of that… The afternoon passed quietly, I was glad to be able to just relax, not having to think of anything or plan anything, after I had been through a really busy month that was just what I needed. I usually like having a program or a plan, but this time I was just too exhausted and drained from the past few weeks that doing nothing for a day was perfect.
At night, of course, I got my “Kaiserschmarrn” and it was divine =) I had it with Nutella and I didn’t feel the slightest bit bad about, I’d gain an extra pound or two for a meal like that anytime *haha* Thanks Lukas (I had been getting on his nerves about that Kaiserschmarrn for the longest time…) – it was fabulous!

*yum*yum*yum*

Five minutes after it was all gone… =)

We watched 2 movies, one of which sucked, and later on some people came over and we just sat together, had a few drinks and simply a good time. It felt so good being among people my age after I’d been home most of the time the past month not seeing anyone… Plus, Lukas and one of his roommates, Mathew, made me feel really welcome there. And so did all the neighbors. It felt great!

Me and Sarah, the downstairs neighbor

Lloyd, who insisted on “fixing” my hair *haha* It was so much fun!

Lukas and Mathew… A funny team =)

Mathew and Sarah doing crazy dance moves =)

Enjoying the company *haha*

Well, that was my emergency escape to Florida. My return flight was scheduled for the next day, December 24th. I slept in again and there was not much time left before I had to leave for the airport. It’s a shame that I lost a day because of Sunday’s snowstorm, but even the short vacation fulfilled its purpose. I relaxed. I hadn’t realized before how close I was to losing it, to going crazy… This little trip opened my eyes in many ways, despite it’s shortness.
And… It made me forget completely about christmas, which, considering me being a real grinch, is a good thing. I enjoyed  finding myself under a palm tree rather than presents under a christmas tree =)

Merry Christmas!!

Since I only got back from Florida a few hours ago and I still have plenty to do before I leave for LA tomorrow. I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hope you’ll have a wonderful time!

I Am Not Going Down!

I should be in an airplane heading down to Palm Beach, Florida right now. I should not be sitting in a freezing and raining room right now, unable to think of something productive to do. I should not be furious but happy right now.
A few hours ago, as I was just packing up the last things for my vacation, I suddenly got an email notifying me that my flight got cancelled. I couldn’t believe my eyes…
I had been looking forward to this vacation for the longest time, and god knows I really need it after working every single weekend for the last two months and not being able to meet any of my friends for the last 3 weeks. Hell, I deserved that vacation! 

Yet, I wasn’t really surprised at that happening, and it has nothing to do with New England being a living hell, except that it’s freezing cold and snowing instead of burning hot and all fiery… I was just talking to sombebody how I was hoping the flight wouldn’t be delayed because of the bad weather when I got the email… Still, I pictured sitting on the plane for a while before we’d get clearence for takeoff, but I did not expect not to have a flight at all. I know that the roots for part of my paranoia go back to the medication I’m on right now, but something about that conspiracy theory of mine seems to be striking accurate… I get the impression that something or someone has been trying real hard to get me down and make me go under. Well, guess what. I’m not ready to go down yet, and I’ll keep moving. No raining room or snowstorm or whatever crap will ever push me far enough to stop holding on to that little spark of hope that keeps me going everytime something goes terribly wrong…

It took me a lot of patience and mental strenght (including counting from 1 to 10 and remembering myself to take a deep breath – “gooooood, now do it again.. See, you already feel a bit better, just keep on breathing! There you go!” – that kind of thing…) and also quite a while on the computer as well as on the phone, plus even more patience and mental strenght when I had to listen to god aweful melodramatic love ballads while I was on hold with the airline (at that point the chuckles of incredulousness started, the ones indicating the beginning of the end… When you know you’re sanity is bowing out…) but enough of that… I was able to get on another flight tomorrow morning, it’s gonna stop in New York though. That means I’ll be leaving the house in the morning and not get to Florida until 6pm, which is more than aggravating considering that my time there was already limited, and now I’ll have even less. But whoever’s trying to kick me, I’m kicking back. I’m not staying here in the icy winter wonder land and hang out with Frosty the Snowman, I’d go down there even for just a couple of hours to escape that lousy wheater and all the rest up here! The delay is more than unfortunate, it’s infuriating, but what am I gonna do. I’ll have to skip sleeping to make up for the lost time =) or I’ll just make it twice a fun time. So even though I’m not going down to Florida tonight, I’m not gonna feel all shitty and frustrated for the next couple of days – because I am not going down!